Home Inspections or "One Flew over Someone Else's Cuckoo Nest"

If you are even considering buying a house, you HAVE TO get at inspection...or better yet, hire an engineer.
They go into the dark, stinky basements to check the wiring, plumbing, foundation.  They go into the attic to check for venting and insulation...and usually find the one obligatory dead something or other.  They are your eyes and ears.  After all, I'm not about to drag my butt into the attic and look around if I don't have to.

You get a fancy report with all the flaws of the property....and this becomes your bargaining point.  And if there is enough wrong with it, you get to run away and fast.. So.. if you offer to sell a box of apples to me for $15, I offer to buy it for $12, the engineer's report comes back and says 3 of the apples are smaller than the rest, 2 are slightly bruised and 1 has an odd smell.  I am still interested in the apples, after all you can always make applesauce...but I digress...I am still interested, so I offer to buy the apples for $8 rather than having the sale go nowhere.  The seesaw begins...who will give and who will bend...who will ultimately get their way.
It becomes a test of wills and endurance....the one that goes insane first...loses.  Maybe that extra room can have padding put on the wall....someone's sure gonna need it.

Appraise her....I hardly know her

Ever have an appraisal done on a piece of real estate? Well that's a real treat....sigh.  This is when the bank decides how much your new acquisition is going to be worth. This is not to be confused with the appraisal that the realtors assign it when it goes on the market.  The appraisers take the comps in the area, rate those against yours and then the "magic number" is assigned to the property.  This is usually the case of comparing apples to apples. But.....if you are the only apple in an orchard full of oranges, what the hell do you do?  I believe they take out a dartboard with all of the attributes on it and just random threw until they get the best 2 out of 3 for a price.

The obvious importance of the appraisal is that it determines the at the moment value of the property.  This of course will impact the final price for which it is purchased at. So when your (possible) new property comes in for less than you thought, what goes through your head....( re-read blogs 1-5.. if you need to be reminded). 

Real Estate Agents.... What's up with that??

Real estate agents are sort of a necessary evil when it comes to house hunting; they do much of the grunt work for you and they are the ones that get you in to see that oh so elusive "fabulous" property.  Honestly, without them the only way you can get to see a house is if it's an open house or it's an fsbo (for sale by owner - for those not in the know). They take an inventory of your likes and dislikes, of your requirements and your nice to haves.  But do they really listen to you...do they have your best interest at heart?  Sometime I think that real estate agents are one step about used car salesmen (again, no disrespect meant if you are one, I'm just saying is all). 

Oh sure- that house is lovely, it only needs 10-20K worth of work, or whats a few termites between friends?  So what if you can't close the bathroom door...think of the bright side, that nice $8,000 tax credit you're going to get.  The smell of dog pee...pish tosh- throw a fan or two in and it will be gone in a year or two. 
At what point can you say, okay I'm done listening to your nonsense?  How many tens of dozens of horror shows do you view before throwing in the towel?  I wish I could figure it out.

I know that legally real estate agents aren't allowed to say things about the community, or neighborhood or the state of the house, but how about a little common decency.  Say to me," you know- I don't like how this is", something to let me know that you are paying attention.  I know that we can't go into a house and scream when we see something hideous, but at least pick up a cue once in a while.  I feel like that Edvard Munsch picture "The Scream".  If you don't recognize the name of it, google it- when you see it, you'll know instantly what I mean.

All I can say is...for right now...thank goodness for M&M's ...

Another day...another dilemna

This is all very exhausting, looking at the real estate section, looking for open houses, driving through perspective neighborhoods. Do we do north shore or south shore? Each has it's own drawbacks and considerations.  I'm sorry I don't ask for much, but I just can't be more than 20 minutes from a Trader Joe's or a good supermarket with yummy organic and natural foods.  I guess based on this condition, south shore is out.  Okay maybe it's more reasonably priced but our travel times to work would be increased markedly and none of the aforementioned conditions exist over there, not to mention how prone the south shore is to flooding. 
Somebody send me a sign.....
Knowing me the sign would be something like " road flooded" :/

The north shore, considered by most to be of the more desirable side to be on (sorry if you live on the south shore, no insult meant or intended). But desirability comes with a price, usually payable in currency of unrealistic housing.  So what's a girl to do....Where is my magic 8 ball when I need it?

To rent or not to rent.....that is the question

I figured to put this as a separate post even though it was related to the last one, but this is something that deserves its singular due.  To rent or not to rent...blah blah blah....the eternal question.  Does it pay to rent, does it pay to "throw" away hundreds of thousands of dollars on rent and not worry about fixing up a place that may not be to your standards. Or...do you plunk down a whole bunch of money on a place that you like now, but aren't sure if you'll like in 6 months.  And moreover, if you'll be able to sell it in 3-5 years when you want to move on. 
You see, in case you didn't know, living on LI ain't cheap.  Good luck trying to find a decent rental for under $2k a month...yes that is what I wrote.  It is the equivalent of a mortgage for a middle of the road house; nothing elaborate, just middle of the road.  No oversized tubs, no pools, no sprawling kitchens or backyards, just middle of the road.
Any ideas, any solutions?  Move out of NY you say? Move to a state with a cheaper economy you say?  Well, we tried that; 3 years ago we figure we would move off of LI in search of a "better life", a slower pace.  So we packed up all of our belongings, said our sad good-byes to friends and family and we headed south...to NC. This lasted 2 years, almost to the day.  The dh liked it at first, and I wasn't sure but once I got my bearings, I loved it....and he hated it.  First a little, then a lot; the disdain grew and it then became all about moving back.  We rented an apartment (actually 2-we moved 8 months after we got down there); figured we would rent while we were looking for our "dream house"- or at least our starter dream house. Sure, we almost bought a house down there that by LI standards would have been 2-3 times more expensive here, but no sale.  But that's a whole other story, for a whole other blog....maybe another time.  So again...we packed up everything we had and headed back up to LI.  And then the questions began....do we rent or do we buy??? The dance just keeps going and going.  And this is where we stand..

Things that make you go ...hmmm.

Ok.. it's been a few weeks since the first blog and so much has happened. The amount of absolute junk on the real estate market is completely mind-boggling.  How people can live in these houses/condos in the conditions that they are in is beyond me. And then they have the absolute nerve to try to sell these houses for the amount that they are trying.  I mean really...We saw one "condo" that had the nerve to call itself a 3 bathroom house, when actually it had two bathrooms together....really?? Really...  And then this one place, said it had "new appliances", yeah they were new..if we were currently in 1985. 
Mold, rotting floor boards, structural damage, dog and cat pee...my favorites, just some of the highlights of our search. 

People always tell you that house hunting is time consuming and difficult and draining, but they rarely talk about what effect it has on your personal life.  It is not only physically draining but the emotional aspect is quite pervasive.  It has taken quite a bit out of us while not giving much in return.